|  Author | Topic: Lost hope (Read 222 times) |
waterlily
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|  | Lost hope
« Thread Started on Apr 7, 2008, 4:55am » | ![[Quote]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/quote.gif) |
I just don't know how to go on with my life...i feel more and more hate..i don't know how to handle that now.
I feel lost.
Waterlily
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Betty
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #1 on Apr 8, 2008, 4:13pm » | |
Hello waterlily
I don't know what is going on right now but I am more than willing to talk to you. You have every reason in the world to "go on" with life. You will find out that it really is worth fight for. Please feel free to contact me.
Betty
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chaplain
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #2 on Apr 9, 2008, 12:04am » | |
I think that your biggest problem is that you have not expected the temptations that you have been experiencing, Waterlily!
I have been enjoying your posts on the main WWCO site and have even responded to some of your questions, so I am well aware that you are fairly "new" in your Christian walk. Here is where MANY "new" Christians begin feeling like a major "failure" in their new walk: They expect that everything in their life will now become EASIER, now that they "have Jesus" and I must confess; often it's because of the way that other Christians (including "leaders") present the Christian life to them in the first place!
Here is the "real deal" Waterlily; our lives actually become MORE DIFFICULT when we become followers of Jesus Christ, but with those difficulties comes His PROMISES of STRENGTH to help us deal with each and every one of them!
This is my favorite "biblical example" of what I'm telling you; it's found in Matthew 14:12-33. Here, Jesus appears to His disciples walking on the sea! This has obviously "unnerved" most of them as it would to any of us; imagine how it would have affected YOU if you had been in that boat! It's dark, very windy; so much so that it's impossible to make any "forward progess" across the sea. The waves are slapping over the sides of the boat, soaking the occupants; the ONLY "light" visible would have been from the distant fires that the Roman Garrisons would light at their camps on the hillsides surrounding this sea, when suddenly, a lone figure can be seen in the distance, doing the IMPOSSIBLE------"WALKING ON THE SEA"!!! Jesus obviously had a sense of humor because the first words out of His mouth are: "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid!". From the disciples point of view, it's probably a good thing that the waves were "washing" over the deck, because I think that the deck may have needed a "flushing" about that time!
Anyway, Peter suddenly developes a penchant for "showmanship" as he challenges Jesus by saying: "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.", so Jesus says "Come!". Now, I give Peter a LOT of credit here, as he WAS the only one who had the courage to not only "speak up", but also to actually STEP OUT, as well; BUT "here" is where he also makes the mistake that MANY Christians do.....even today! I'm sure that Peter expected to take a nice leisurely "stroll" out on the water with his friend Jesus; that the situation would have immediately "improved" as soon as he got out of the boat, or at the very least; that the conditions would have at least "remained the same"! What I'm sure that Peter NEVER expected was what actually happened; that things would get WORSE!! The bible tells us that the winds became stronger and that the waves actually grew higher, and because THAT is what Peter did NOT "expect"---- he suddenly began to question WHY he was "out there"in the first place and THAT, is what caused him to sink!! So, "why" did Jesus allow the conditions to worsen then?? I believe that He wanted to show Peter (and us) that even when things "appear" to be worsening, He is able to sustain us; this is why He asked Peter: "Why did you doubt??"! I would also like to point out that Jesus also wanted to show Peter (and us) that even if we DO find ourselves "sinking in doubt" that He is "RIGHT THERE" (as an ever-present help in our time of need) to lift us up out of the "sea of dispair" and set us back "on course"! Note that Jesus did not ask Peter about his doubt as Peter struggled in the water, nor did He "rebuke" him at that time either. He simply "stretched out His hand" and lifted Peter up!
Waterlily, I see the same happening to YOU! You haven't expected the trials and temptations in your life to become MORE difficult and now that they have, you are feeling "doubt". Satan would love to convince you that this is because God has "abandoned" you (probably over some past sin) and that you are no longer "worthy" of God's grace; DON"T believe that!! God is allowing things to get more difficult so that you will not only have the opportunity to see His "overcoming power" in your life; you will also become STRONGER in your faith! This is also what inspired James to write in his book in chapter 1:2-5.....please take the time to read that soon; ok?? Temptation never goes away "in this life" nor does the trials and tribulations. For the christian, they actually get worse, BUT with these "worsening conditions" also comes UNMEASUARABLE STRENGTH ....once one begins to understand "how" God actually works in the lives of His followers!! I really believe that you are on your way to a new understanding of God in your life......and a deeper faith in Him as a result! Don't allow satan to "undermine this" either! Rather than asking yourself: "What am I doing wrong?" Learn to ask yourself: "What am I doing right?"! Often, that is the reason for many of our struggles. Remember, satan doesn't disturb "sleeping Christians" as he is afraid to AWAKEN THEM, but he has no problem "harassing" the ones who are already awake! "Which" category do you think you are in?? I'm convinced that you are in the latter!! My prayers are with you; STAY STRONG!
God bless!
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waterlily
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #3 on Apr 9, 2008, 1:33am » | |
I don't have every reason to go on with life...I don't have any reason. I try to survive my whole life and i don't have the energy to fight anymore.
I wasn't raised with christianity and i know very well that Lucifer is also not the answer...i even don't know if your god is the answer.
What i know is that since I've heard about your god..life is getting worser...and the hate about some people of my past is growing.
I'm tired of fighting...tired of searching answers. Tired of hearing that your god is love.
Why should i be glad, even if i have a lot of trouble? I guess that was ment for christians
Waterlily
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chaplain
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #4 on Apr 9, 2008, 11:13pm » | |
Waterlily,
The whole point of my post to you was to explain that more often than not, life DOES appear to get worse when we begin looking to God for answers! He is allowing your faith to be tested!
Look at it this way (especially since you make so many references to "fighting" in your own posts); becoming a Christian is very much like "enlisting" in the armed forces and rightly so; for we HAVE become members in "the army of God"! Now, what is the first thing that happens to ANY "raw recruit", in ANY branch of armed forces, in ANY country?? The answer is "BASIC TRAINING"!! Now, "what" happens in basic training?? Does not the very same members of the very same branch of "fighters" now begin TESTING these very same "raw recruits" by placing them under rigorous mental, physical and emotional HARDSHIPS??? Now, what on earth would cause them to do THAT??? I'm sure that you are already beginning to see my point here, Waterlily; these "raw recruits" are placed under such hardships to "weed out" the crybabies, while also preparing the true soldiers that CHOOSE to remain and ENDURE such hardships because these "real soldiers" KNOW that there is a WORTHY CAUSE that they are being called to defend!
Please also note that the more "demanding" that their particular task force is (such as Special Forces, Navy Seals, Para-rescue Squad, etc.) The more "INTENSE" the hardship of their training becomes!! This is because these people MUST be "prepared" for the time when the REAL battle situations will have to be faced!!
I can only tell you this, my friend; if God is allowing you to be tested "to the utmost of your endurance" ---- it is because He has a VERY SPECIAL plan for you in your service to Him .....and a "DOUBLY COMMENSURATE" reward for you when your service to Him is completed, and that all of this hardship and pain will be INSTANTLY "forgotten" when you receive that reward!
You are not alone in the way that you "feel" right now, either! Prophets such as Isaiah, Jeremiah, Elijah, Jonah and Hosea also felt much as you do now. God did not "forget" nor abandon them.......and He will not forget nor abandon you, either! Like you, I also was not raised in a Christian home, nor did I have much "support" in my new walk with Christ. I also did not have a great knowledge of the bible, nor of Christian culture and traditions. There came a time in my life when I also found myself being "severely tested" and even my churchgoing Christian friends seemed to "give up and abandon" me! Like you, I also found myself very close to giving up on God......as well as on myself!!
The good news is: God NEVER "gave up" on me and eventually, His grace brought me THROUGH all of my trials! In my life I have endured a bitter divorce, unemployment and poverty, hunger, cold, shame, false accusations, being alienated from my children (one of which eventually committed suicide), persecution for my faith, and abandonment from even my church and Christian friends! Waterlily, I HATED every minute that I had to endure all of those things; many of which occurred simultaneously also! Yet, I would not be "who and what" I am today if God had not allowed me to endure them, so I have learned to be "thankful" for having experienced all of those trials! Many of these trials eventually "opened doors" for me to minister to others that were/are experiencing the very same (like you, maybe??)!
Whatever hardship you may be enduring, Waterlily; I can only say this: IT'S WORTH IT!! God's grace will see you through it and you will be a much stronger, and much more loving and effective person for having overcome whatever trials you are facing! Please, for YOUR sake (as well as the sake of "others" that you may someday reach out to in empathy) DON'T GIVE UP!!!
I cannot make these problems "go away" in your life, but I can (and will) pray .....THAT YOUR FAITH DOES NOT FAIL!! Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing?? I will be "away" for the next 12 days, but I will send you a PM with my Email and messenger IDs. Maybe we can have a "live conversation" when I return??
May God bless you richly until then,
Chaplain
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waterlily
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #5 on Apr 22, 2008, 6:17am » | |
Walpurgis night is coming up the night of april 30/may 1. 
In some parts of Europe it's a big celebration.... i have bad memory's about it.
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chaplain
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #6 on Apr 26, 2008, 2:00am » | |
We discussed this on messenger the other night. You're in my prayers and I look forward to talking with you again soon.
God bless!
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waterlily
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #7 on Apr 28, 2008, 3:49pm » | |
It's coming closer and closer....two night's to go. 
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chaplain
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #8 on Apr 29, 2008, 10:43pm » | |
You needn't be terrorized by the unpleasant memories of this night. There IS strength and protection for you that is "only a prayer" away! I will do my best to pray for you through this ordeal, but there is not a better solution than being able to do this for yourself. Prayer has the power to send the devil RUNNING; (read James 4:7) this is a very REAL "promise" Waterlily!
God bless!
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waterlily
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #9 on May 18, 2008, 4:40pm » | |
I miss MarkPeter...i miss his so much. He was alway's willing to listen to me. We talked about scriptures i didn't understand..he explained these scriptures to me...i feel so lost without him.
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chaplain
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| | Re: Lost hope
« Reply #10 on May 21, 2008, 1:46am » | |
I'm still "here" .....and I have been known to explain scriptures to people also. I'm a chaplain for the county jail, a pastor at an adult care facility and I'm "interim" pastoring at a local church. I read the bible daily and I read through it entirely at least once/year, so if that meets your "qualifications"....I am at your service, my friend!  Feel free to speak with me on messenger any time you see me or have a question! I get offline messages from Tracey often, so I know that works well also; feel free to leave me a message at any time also. You can use that as a means for letting me know "when" you'll be online should you ever feel the need to "talk" and I'll do my best to meet up with you (please understand that our "time differences" might make that difficult sometimes though; ok??). God may be "finished" with what He had planned for MarkPeter, but He is NOT finished with you, nor has He abandoned you either! There are many people that God has empowered to carry on the same work that you saw in MarkPeter; hopefully, I am one of them! Feel free to contact me anytime you feel the need to!
God bless!
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